Saturday, December 29, 2007

Dumb Britain

Hello, everyone! I thought I should break my radio silence, but I couldn't think of anything substantial to post. Hope everyone's recovering from Christmas! I've been amusing myself with my new DVDs and my obligatory Private Eye annual. This year, I also got a book of the entries from PE's Dumb Britain section - which reveals the silliest answers given on quiz shows up and down the country. Some of them might just be down to nerves; some are just plain dumb. Here's a selection of my favourites, hope they give you a laugh. Remember - these are all real.

Presenter: When the twins Romulus and Remus were abandoned, they were suckled by which four-legged animal?
Contestant: The minotaur.

Presenter: What G was the complex knot severed by Alexander the Great in the fourth century BC?
Contestant: Granny.

Presenter: What type of weapon was a claymore? Was it (a) a mace, (b), a sword, or (c) a dagger?
Contestant: Well, I know it can't be a mace, as the police have only started using that.

Presenter: Complete this well-known saying: "Beauty is in the eye of the..."
Contestant: Tiger.

Presenter: In Shakespeare's play A Midsummer Night's Dream, who was king of the fairies?
Contestant: I'm not very good at history.

Presenter: Who wrote Treasure Island?
Contestant: Robinson Crusoe.

Presenter: What did Roger Bannister do in under four minutes in 1954?
Contestant: Orbit the earth?

Presenter: In which country are the ruins of the ancient city of Troy? Is it (a) Tunisia, (b) Italy or (c) Turkey?
Contestant: I think this is when all those years doing A-level Ancient History will start to pay off. (pause) Well it's not Turkey...

Presenter: King Robert I of Scotland was popularly known by what other name?
Contestant: Bob.

Presenter: Who said "Kiss me Hardy?"
Contestant: Was it his girlfriend?
Presenter: No, it was a man who said it.
Contestant: Was it Stan Laurel?

Presenter: Above the entrance to which place do the words "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here" appear?
Contestant: A church?

Presenter: What travels at 300 million metres a second?
Contestant: A cheetah.

4 comments:

Gabriele C. said...

Roflol.

But you can be sure to find equally dumb answers in German TV quizzes.

Jack Dixon said...

LOL! That's really funny. If you don't mind, here's how I think those questions might be answered in the US:

Presenter: When the twins Romulus and Remus were abandoned, they were suckled by which four-legged animal?
Contestant: P.T. Barnum

Presenter: What G was the complex knot severed by Alexander the Great in the fourth century BC?
Contestant: I’m sorry…I suck at anatomy.

Presenter: What type of weapon was a claymore? Was it (a) a mace, (b), a sword, or (c) a dagger?
Contestant: Ummmm……William Wallace!

Presenter: Complete this well-known saying: "Beauty is in the eye of the..."
Contestant: Storm.

Presenter: In Shakespeare's play A Midsummer Night's Dream, who was king of the fairies?
Contestant: Rue Paul?

Presenter: Who wrote Treasure Island?
Contestant: Captain Ahab.

Presenter: What did Roger Bannister do in under four minutes in 1954?
Contestant: Blow his acting career?

Presenter: In which country are the ruins of the ancient city of Troy? Is it (a) Tunisia, (b) Italy or (c) Turkey?
Contestant: Hmmm. Well, Italy and Turkey aren’t in Michigan, so I’ll have to say Tunisia. Troy, Michigan – must be in Tunisia County. Yep…final answer.

Presenter: King Robert I of Scotland was popularly known by what other name?
Contestant: Scotland had a king?

Presenter: Who said "Kiss me Hardy?"
Contestant: Stan Laurel

Presenter: Above the entrance to which place do the words "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here" appear?
Contestant: Hmmm. That's a tough one. It's either a court room or a hospital. Wow. Gonna have to go with...a court room?

Presenter: What travels at 300 million metres a second?
Contestant: What’s a metre?

CresceNet said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Crystal said...

LOL! I loved all of them! Even Jacks!! Rue Paul, indeed!!LOL!